Oh bugger, The New Adventures of Fatty's Engines has a episode. NOW!
One day on the island of Sodor, the engines were going to be given some new coal. It was strange imported coal from North Korea, but it was all that was available because of the economy crisis crap.
One morning, the engines were being given the new coal. "I wonder what will be so different about this particular coal?" wondered Thomas.
"I don't know," replied Percy. "We'll just have to wait and see."
Soon all the engines had been given the new type of coal. Suddenly after 3 minutes, Thomas started to have stoner-like eyes.
"Thomas, are you OK?" asked his fireman.
"Man.... give me more of that grass" Thomas blurted out.
Thomas blasted out of the shed at very slow speed, continuing down the main line. He saw a yellow school bus on a level crossing ahead. But he didn't stop. Suddenly he became a train version of Steve Marley. The children looked out of the bus window and became confused. Thomas drove straight thru the bus. He crawled through the flames, laughing like a stoner. He continued to drive out of control until he crashed into a tractor trailer truck filled with McDonald's beverage syrup
Later that day, Percy had to deliver some mail to a nearby town. "I hope nothing strange happens to me." he thought. That's when he saw a Cracker Barrel across the road from the tracks.
Percy just couldn't resist. "SOUTHERN FOODS!!!" he cried. Now I know engines have to follow tracks, but Percy didn't care. He just drove off the tracks himself onto the busy road.
"Percy, STOP!" yelled his driver. "How can you move onto a road with no tracks?!"
"Screw the tracks!" replied Percy. Cars swerved out of Percy's way, crashing into nearby buildings, mangled bodies everywhere.
Percy broke through the Cracker Barrel doors, and began to cause havoc in the Cracker Barrel. The workers tried to stop him, but had to run out of the way so they didn't get run over. Just then Kenny Curtis and Absolutely Mindy from Kids Place Live jumped in front of Percy.
"You're not getting all the southern food here!" shouted Kenny. But Percy just pushed them out of the way.
"What the?" said Mindy as they landed on boxes full of beverage syrup, syrup splattering everywhere. It was quite messy.
Meanwhile, the Fat Controller was on the phone in his office. He had received many complaints about engines going psycho.
"So, Thomas destroyed a school bus killing 5 children, Percy tried to eat all the southern United States food in a Cracker Barrel by the side of the highway resulting in 69 casualties including 98 in car accidents, Gordon didn't stop at the last station on the line and went through the wall at 100mph killing 14 passengers and 45 people in the station, TOBY RAN OVER A MAN-BEAVER FROM THE WOODS FULL OF TOXIC WASTE, AND JAMES CRASHED WHILE IN THE CEMENT FACTORY KNOCKING 5 WORKERS INTO A VAT OF CEMENT????!!!!!!!" he roared into the telephone.
"THAT BRINGS THE BODY COUNT TO 237!!! ON MY RAILWAY!! I WON'T HAVE IT!! I'M GOING TO TELL THOSE EVIL NORTH KOREAN PEOPLE NOT TO OFFER ME THEIR FANCY COAL AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!"
The Fat Controller slammed down the phone.