Oh bugger........

Story Edit

One day Gordon was stuck in the shed. He was really angry because the Fat Controller wouldn't let him pull passenger trains. Gordon almost hit Elizabeth a day earlier, and this was his punishment.

One day Gordon's driver and fireman came up to the shed.

"Wake up, Gordon," said his driver. "It's time for your first goods train."

"SCREW OFF", said Gordon. "I ain't pulling no stupid goods train".

"If you're going to be rude, you can just stay in the shed all day," said his fireman.

"I don't care," grumbled Gordon. "Can't Oliver do it?"

"Listen you," said his driver. "If you don't pull this very important goods train then I'll sent you straight to the smelting pit. You WANT THAT? HUH? BUDDY?"

"Alright, alright," complained Gordon as he came out of the shed. "I'll pull the bloody train."

Thomas laughed as Gordon was coupled to the very long goods train. "HAW-HAW!" laughed Thomas in Nelson Muntz's voice, just to annoy Gordon.

"SILENCE, WORM." ordered Gordon, copying Horrid Henry's catchphrase as he began to pull the long goods train out of Knapford goods yard.

Soon Gordon began to gain speed. He asked if it was a slow or fast goods train. "It's a fast goods train," called his driver. "You can go as fast as you want!"

"In that case," said Gordon, "Full speed ahead!" Soon they were barrelling down the main line at high speed. But a mile ahead was a crossing.

The RED Heavy, Scout, and Soldier had got the RED Bread van stuck on a crossing on the main line. "Van is stupid!", grumbled the Heavy as he tried to push it away from the crossing. "We must run like little babies before next train comes!"

Suddenly they heard the sound of a whistle. "Maggot!," thought the Solider. "RUN!" But it was too late. Gordon saw the van up ahead. "Oh, dang!" he cried. He shut his eyes.

Gordon ploughed through the van at 100mph with the fast goods train. Milk spilled everywhere and the brakevan was smashed. Gordon came to a grinding halt with the non-derailed portion of the train.

Luckily, the 3 idiots weren't hurt, but they were very cross indeed. The Heavy marched up to Gordon.

"YOU ARE STUPID BIG SAUSAGE CART!" shouted the Heavy angrily.

"It wasn't MY fault!" protested Gordon. "The signal was green! It's YOUR fault because YOU and your friends decided to take a shortcut across the tracks, idiots!"

"See?" said Seeman, pointing to the wreck.

"Great, first I almost ran over Elizabeth, now I've ran over the RED Bread van" thought Gordon.

"Hey Gordon", said his driver, who was unhurt. "I'm hearing cats, and there's a lot of milk"

Gordon, his driver, and the three RED imbeciles looked at one another, and then paused.

"OH SH…" But it was too late. As soon as they all completed the first part of the word, cats ran in and started licking the milk.

Later that evening, Gordon returned to Tidmouth on a flatcar. He then fell asleep.


The moral of the story is: NEVER, let passenger engines run freight/goods trains!

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